Personal petty and impolite

This isn’t easy and this isn’t fun and this is a trap and this is a let down and this is probably wrong and this is absurd and this is too much mental exercise but this seems real all the same. I think I need to take lessons on having better sexual intercourse. I mean, there is nothing happening and yet I want there to be. I’ve talked with my partner, time and after time and now I’m tired of “leading” the discussion. We talk and things will change (for the next hour or so) promises made, ideas proposed and then nothing changes. I mean, I thought we both liked sex and yet it’s not happening. Do people really go looking if they don’t get what they want? Everything, everywhere you read is sex is a primary indicator of a happy marriage and my sex life is awful. So, like I said, this is personal and impolite but I’m at a loss anyway. Around and around I go. Normal or petty. Nervous or lazy. How much is too much. How little is too little. How much talking and effort should it all take? If I never do anything and nothing changes is it my fault? I’m less and less motivated and care less and less and this descent seems unbearable as well. Anyway, I guess I’ll return to these ideas and thoughts later. I mean they are at once, critical and also not helpful when it comes to getting work done and life accomplished.